Humiliation

• Humiliation play is a form of BDSM that uses the power of words – often in an demeaning way – to arouse those involved, either by speaking the words or hearing them. Because it can use some pretty strong vocabulary, think of it as sexual wordplay on steroids.
• Before you do anything, you have to clearly and precisely communicate: both as the speaker as well as the person on the receiving end. Since you don’t want any kind of interference or miscommunication, it’s recommended to do this negotiation before (and outside) of the scene. This means that you don’t sit down together as Dominant and submissive but as equal participants in the relationship. This way the submissive will feel free to speak without fear of being disrespectful toward their Dominant; on the other side of things, the Dominant will know that the submissive is not just saying what the Dominant wants to hear. Because humiliation play has the potential to be emotionally damaging, do not engage in it if there is any kind of doubt or hesitation on anyone’s part. Take It Slow! Even if things seem to be crystal clear, take things slow and steady. Don’t just leap into verbal abuse like you’re both old hands at it. Instead, try it for a short time, maybe just one part of a BDSM scene, and then immediately check in with each other as equals and not as Dominant and submissive.
• Another thing about humiliation play is that it is often something that many people fantasize about but have not directly experienced. As anyone who has participated in BDSM play for a significant amount of time can attest, there can be a huge gap between fantasy and reality. So, even if your partner says that they emphatically agree to try it, still take it slow. After all, you can always ramp it up as you both get more comfortable with what’s going on.
• Let’s talk about Dominants for a moment. Humiliation play is something that can work both ways, so the Dom, as well as the sub, needs to be careful about emotional reactions. Let’s say that you are playing with someone who likes to be called a “useless piece of shit” and you find yourself becoming uncomfortable, or emotionally distressed. Use your \’Safeword\’. BDSM, after all, is about sharing a sexual and emotional experience. If one person is pleased but another is not, it’s time to step back and rethink what’s happening. Like with physical negotiation, always respect the limits of everyone involved. If someone likes being called “a slut” then don’t call them “a filthy boy/girl.” Even though you meant it as an equivalent to the word \”slut,\” this could be the difference between your sub feeling nicely aroused and having an emotional breakdown. Then there’s context. Patting a slave on the head and saying, with a smile, that they’re a “no good slut” is very different than angrily calling them a “no good slut” and making them stand in the corner. Because of this, don’t just negotiate the words to be used in a scene. You must discuss the emotions behind them as well. Humiliation, after all, can mean different things to different people, so always make sure you are both on the same page.

Reference sourced from www.kinkly.com